I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
