i barfeds in our rink
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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