It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
