ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
