grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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