If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
