My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So vagazzling was a success
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
