It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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