I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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