oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
