meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
