So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
