He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
