Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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