can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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