ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
