I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You left your phone here
Wait...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize