we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
