Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
