in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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