i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize