Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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