goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize