If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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