Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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