Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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