Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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