I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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