I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
