every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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