tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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