I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
