they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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