Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize