Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
