I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
