when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
