I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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