Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I see more hoeing in ur future
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