I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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