Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And then my night got REAL pukey
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
