Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
