Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize