halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
