Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
