PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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