***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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