I'm going to jail i love you
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
