this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
