I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
