Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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