did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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