When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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