I'm lost and stupid without you.
Can Purell be used as lube?
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
