It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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