Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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