turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
