Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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