there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
