that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
