The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
