I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
