Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
