He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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