You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
