i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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