At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
