He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize