Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think my moral compass just broke
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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