i can't believe i had my finger in that
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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