She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
