i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
